This morning we were discussing Planet of the Apes. I said, "That movie came out in 1968." And Rob responded with, "1968? I was minus 10!"

Minus 10? Not "that was ten years before I was born." Or even, "I was negative 10 years old." Just minus 10. I don't really know why that sounded so odd to me, but it did.

Posted by Melissa at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments

Besides thinking the entire world is out to get him, he also believes germs are out to get him as well.

Topic #2: Rob's Toothbrush
Rob is very protective of his toothbrush. First of all, he will not keep it in the bathroom because of all the "poop particles" that are floating around. (Yet he'll drink out of the bathroom faucet and use the tissues from the bathroom on his face. Go figure.) So now he keeps it in the closet. But if we are going to have anyone in the house, he will hide it underneath piles of clothes. Somewhat tied to his paranoia, he seems to think that if a person finds a toothbrush lying around, they will not be able to stop themselves from sticking it up their butt.

If we are in a hotel, and hotels are a whole other topic, he will either hide his toothbrush or carry it with him all day. I should probably just get him one of these.

Posted by Melissa at 8:28 AM | Permalink | Comments

I'm resurrecting this blog because every time I tell people crazy stories about Rob, they all think that I need to document these things. So I may as well share with the world what a freak I married.

I could write 40 paragraphs right now, but I'll try to space everything out. Let's start with with topic #1.

Topic #1: Rob's Paranoia
The house we're staying in has an alarm. But that isn't enough protection. So when he sleeps, Rob keeps the following items next to the bed:

• A baseball bat (in case a "burglar" breaks in and he's far enough away to take a swing)


• A carving knife (in case the "burglar" is on top of him, since a bat would be useless in that situation)


• Bear Mace (I don't know, in case the burglar is a bear?)

In addition to this, Rob props a stool against the bedroom door since the door doesn't lock. He's getting better. It used to be a stool, and a box with a glass vase on top.

Last winter, I was in the Container Store, and I found a little travel door alarm, which I thought would be perfect, and could hopefully eliminate the barricade in front of the door. No. Now he uses it IN ADDITION to the stool propped up against the door.

Soon I'm going to have to maneuver around trip wire just to get a glass of water in the middle of the night.

Posted by Melissa at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

Rob shakes his moneymaker in our car.

Posted by Melissa at 8:18 PM | Permalink | Comments

You must not know 'bout Rob. But enough of these videos and you will.

Posted by Melissa at 8:16 PM | Permalink | Comments

Car dancing at its best. Take note of two things:

#1 - I do not stop when he yells at me.
#2 - Notice Rob's disgust at the end of the song when he hears the voice of his least favorite DJ.

Posted by Melissa at 6:56 PM | Permalink | Comments

A classic.

Posted by Melissa at 2:50 PM | Permalink | Comments

On June 15th 2006, I married the weirdest person I have ever met. My husband, Rob, is truly a bizarre individual. I thought it would be fun to have a collection of silly Rob moments for all to enjoy. Please send your prayers.

Posted by Melissa at 12:26 PM | Permalink | Comments